


It's okay. I couldn't sleep anyway.

by fandomtrash2611



Series: 100 Ways To Say "I Love You" [16]
Category: Cormoran Strike Series - Robert Galbraith
Genre: 100 Ways to Say I Love You Writing Challenge, Confessions, Crush, Cute, Dinner, Distractions, F/M, Fluffy, Its okay I couldn't sleep anyway., Kisses, Late Night Calls, carring Strike, drunk Robin, drunk strike
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:13:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22135357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomtrash2611/pseuds/fandomtrash2611
Summary: Fanfiction #16 of the "100 ways to say 'I Love You' writing challenge"
Relationships: Robin Ellacott/Cormoran Strike
Series: 100 Ways To Say "I Love You" [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1278701
Kudos: 21





	It's okay. I couldn't sleep anyway.

Strike got home late at night and stumbled upstairs to the small attic flat in Denmark Street. He hasn’t had a decent night's rest in days due to the amount of investigations and was now very much looking forward to his bed. Tiredly and after a few moments, he managed to open the door, stumbled into the bedroom, stripped and sank naked between the soft and cool sheets. As soon as his head hit the pillow and he closed his eyes, Strike was asleep.

It was late and Robin was wondering where Strike was. She texted him but received no answer and so she headed to the client's appointment without him. When she returned with their morning coffee and the newspaper he was still not in the office. The young woman got worried and so she decided to head upstairs and look if he was in his flat. Like usual the door to his flat was unlocked and so she knocked and stepped inside.

“ Cormoran ?” Robin stepped inside and looked around. “ Cormoran , you’re here?”

No answer. She realised that – like usual – his flat was tidy and there were only the most necessary things. Without thinking she opened the door to his bedroom – since she couldn’t hear him in the bathroom – and there she found him. Her breath hitched and she felt a slight blush creep up her neck. Robin couldn’t turn her eyes away from the gorgeous silhouette of her partner, asleep and naked as she now realised. The sheet was barely covering him , yet she didn’t mind. Hungrily her eyes wandered over his muscular arms and torso, down to the hairy belly and the invisible bulge under the covers.  Oh dear lord... What was she doing here? This was inappropriate and Robin knew it, yet her eyes were glued to her partner. He mumbled her name and without thinking she stepped a bit closer. Like a magnet his appearance pulled her closer but  she startled when he turned and mumbled something again. Only now she realised what she was about to do so she quickly and silently as possible, got out and headed downstairs again. What was wrong with her? Confused about her thoughts she made herself a cup of tea and since it was a calm day, she decided to catch up with some paperwork. It was late afternoon when she heard heavy footsteps coming downstairs. Strike. Robin tried not to think about him and her thoughts earlier and tried to concentrate on the bills in front of her. 

Strike stepped inside, hair ruffled, only waring some  old jeans and a t-shirt.

“Hi”, he greeted and smiled softly at her. 

“Hi.”

“I’m sorry I missed the  appointment . I just woke up.”

“It’s fine. You needed some rest.”

“Up for dinner?”

“Sure”, she smiled. “What do you have in mind?”

“Chinese?”

“Sounds lovely.”

“I’ll go and grab the usual then”, Strike said and left again to get their food.

When he returned, Robin was finished with the paperwork and watering the few plants they owed. 

“So I got some pretty tasty looking duck, egg rolls, soup, chicken and even some dessert.”

She looked at the two heavy looking bags he carried and laughed. 

“Are you sure we’ll eat all of it?”

“Well I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty hungry at the moment.”

Robin smiled and blushed. She was pretty odd today but he shoved the thought about  it away. 

“ Wanna eat upstairs? It’s more comfy.”

She nodded and shut down her computer while  Cormoran already headed upstairs and prepared the table for them. He also opened a bottle of white wine. Robin took longer than she needed. She was still nervous and distracted by her thoughts. She knew it wasn’t right to think of her partner like that but she could, couldn’t she? She was single again and after the disaster with Matthew she was truly happy about it. Yet there always had been this tension between Strike and her, she had felt it since day one. She quickly looked into a small mirror she carried and was quite happy about the decent make-up she had put on today. Robin took a deep breath and headed upstairs to his flat. When she  entered, she could see that he had put everything up quite nicely and even had opened a bottle of wine. 

“Please, sit” he gestured to a chair and she obeyed. “Wine?”

Robin nodded and he poured her some wine in . Robin took a sip and he sat down. 

“How was the day?”, he asked. “Any news on our cases?”

It took her some time to warm up but after a while she got calmer and she felt more normal around him again. Still Strike could feel that something was wrong. Her cheeks were blushed, her pupils dilated and her body language clear to what she felt. He could feel the slight attraction between them, had felt it for quite some time now, but something was different at the moment. Something had definitely changed. Strike had to find out what it was.

It was late and Robin was slightly drunk when she got up and wanted to leave to her flat. She stumbled and he caught her. Oh gosh... Robin let her hands slide over his arms. He smelled of soap and aftershave and his hands where rough and warm on her hips while he held her. She felt comfortable and Robin remembered him naked in his bed. 

“You sure you want to go home alone? You can barely stand on your feet”, he said quite worried.

“No  no ... It’s fine”, Robin mumbled and leaned a bit closer, her hands on his chest. 

“Or you could crash here if you want”, he offered softly. “I don’t want you to go home on your own like this.”

She hummed softly and let her fingers slide over the buttons on his shirt. 

“I should go home.”

“Well then let me get you home. I’ll get your coat and bag”, he said and headed downstairs to get her stuff. When he returned, Robin was sitting at a chair again and mumbled something. 

“Robin?”, he asked and looked at her. “Are you okay?”

She looked up and shook her head. 

“I don’t feel too well”, she confessed and he smiled softly. 

Strike put her coat on the rack by the door and her bag beside and got her a glass of water. Robin was pale and yet she blushed slightly when he handed her the glass. What was going on? She got drunk, touched him way more than she usually did and this blushing all the time. Had she changed her mind about him? About the thing between them? How she felt? He didn’t dare to hope, not at the moment. 

“Can I use your bathroom?”

He nodded and helped her up. Robin felt sick and ashamed. She was aroused and wanted to make a move, especially after he had held her in his strong arms. But he had been so caring and nice it was just wrong to shove it away and want something that would affect them so much. Robin sat on the floor of the small bathroom beside the toilette since she also felt sick and after a few more minutes she had to throw up. A few seconds later Strike was by her side and held her hair.

“Sch... It’s alright. I got you.”

The next morning Robin woke in her bed in her flat, barely remembering anything from last night. She had a slight headache and found a note by her bed. It was from Strike.

_ Take your time, drink some water and take the pills on your nightstand. We don’t have much appointments today. C. _

Oh god... He had got her home apparently and undressed her, Robin realised when she looked down at her. She only wore her panties and bra and a t-shirt. 

“Oh god! Fuck....”, she grumbled and lay down frustrated. “What have I done?”

Her headache got worse so she took the pills he had advised her to do and headed to take a shower. What had happened last night? Robin tried to remember but there were just bits and pieces. They had dinner, she had gotten drunk and he had offered her to get her home or stay at his place. She had been in his arms, had wanted to kiss and touch him. Then the feeling of sickness that had overcome her. Him helping her and then there was nothing. A complete time that was blank. Robin dried herself with a towel and then put on some body lotion. Her thoughts remained with Strike and she imagined what it would feel like feeling his hands on her body. She imagined that her hands were his and he was touching her all over, rubbing the lotion into her skin. A soft moan escaped her and she shoved the thought away and stopped. Quickly Robin finished and got dressed into a simple black wrap dress and headed to work. She hesitated for a moment to get into the office but then decided to act as if nothing had happened. 

“Good morning”, she said loudly to make him know that she was here like usual and then slipped out of her coat and put her handbag by the desk. 

Like usual she took the coffee she had got them and stepped inside his office to give him his usual tripple espresso he needed these days. 

“Thanks”, he said but didn’t even look her in the eye once and continued to make some notes. 

Robin stepped outside again and  fired  up her computer to start the day. He didn’t even get out once and didn’t talk to her. Something must have happened last night and Robin was angry at herself for doing whatever she had done then. It was midday when he left without another word. Late in the evening Strike returned from an observation and realised that Robin was still there. The moment he entered the room she stood up and started talking.

“Cormoran, I’m truly sorry. I... Whatever I did last night, I didn’t mean it. I don’t know what happened that you’re this angry at me but I’m sorry for it. I truly am.”

Strike stayed silent and looked at her. Gosh she looked beautiful in that black dress and  also he could see that she was nervous. She kneaded her fingers and looked at her feet, avoiding his look and blushing. He smiled softly. What had happened wasn’t unforgivable, he had  just  not been ready to talk to her about it.

“Robin, I.... It’s fine. I’m not angry. Nothing happened in fact”, he lied and he looked up for the first time again. “I was just busy and distracted by work. It’s all good.”

“Really? But I thought...”

“What did you  think ?”

“I thought that something pretty stupid had happened. That I....”

“Yes?”, he asked when she stopped again. 

“Nothing. It’s fine.”

Robin blushed under his look and just wanted to get out. She quickly grabbed her bag.

“Do you need me tomorrow? I’ll be out with friends.”

“No, it’s fine. Enjoy your weekend Robin.”

“Thanks”, the young woman mumbled, grabbed her coat and hurried outside and to her small flat.

Strike was angry at himself for not telling her the truth. The truth about what had happened last night and yet he knew it was for the best. Shoving the thought away, he grabbed his coat and headed to the pub for a pint before he would have some more observations during the night. 

The whole weekend, Robin tried to distract her self . The whole weekend her thoughts stayed with him though. Dinner with a friend had simply been a lie for not having to see h im . A lie she now regretted since she longed for his company. To distract her self some more , Robin cleaned her flat, went grocery shopping, cooked – didn't eat anything though – and took a walk through the park, hoping that she would accidentally meet him. Even when she had a bath and went to bed late, she couldn’t sleep. It was nearly 3am on a Monday morning and Robin knew that he must be at home again. At least she hoped so. Should she call? Should she text? Robin decided on texting and then waited.

It was late when Strike finished the last observation and headed into a bar for some beer. Pretty drunk himself, he met a girl and they headed to her place soon after. The door to her apartment closed and she was all over him, kissing and touching. The woman shoved him to the bedroom and shoved him on the huge bed, getting rid of his coat, pullover and t-shirt. She moaned and moved on him. Strike swore and she laughed. 

“What’s your name?”, he asked when she fumbled at his belt and trousers.

“Robin.”

“Robin”, he said softly and caressed her cheek when she kissed him.

The kisses got more heated and soon she was over him, shoving him down, getting rid of his trousers and her dress. Soon he was buried inside her and they had some mesmerizing sex. He came loud and heavy shouting her name and it felt good. He imagined it being his Robin though, not a strange girl from a bar with the same name. He imagined her fingers on his body, her body under him, sharing kisses with her. With the woman he loved for years now. 

Past midnight he left her and lit up a cigarette as soon as he was on the street. His phone beeped. It was Shanker who wanted him to come over for a beer and so he did.

“So how are things?”, Shanker asked when they sat by his mother’s grave at  Whitechapel cemetery. 

“Things are good. Lots of work.”

“And things between Robin and you?”

“There is nothing between Robin and me”, he denied.

“Come on. You can’t tell me that you didn’t make a move on her after the whole Matthew thing?”

“I didn’t. I...” Strike sighed. “I like her, she’s a good friend.”

“Come on Bunsen. Tell me what happened. I saw her today. She looked horrible.”

“Where did you see her?”

“In the park. She was taking a walk but looked around as if she was hoping to see you. Did anything  happen between you?”

“Shit...”, he grumbled. “Ok you’re right. Something did happen. We had dinner on  Thursday  night and she got pretty drunk. I held her in my arms when she tripped and I swear I wanted to kiss her. She had her hands on my chest and looked at me as if she wanted it to o . But I knew it wasn’t okay since she was drunk. She threw up in my bathroom and I got her home after. I undressed her and she somehow jumped me. We kissed and she was shoving me on the bed and really wanted to go a step further but... I did stop her. You know I... It just wasn’t right. Not like this.”

“Holy shit, Bunsen! What did she say about it?”

“Well in that moment she shouted at me and threw me out but she didn’t remember a thing the next day.”

“How did you know?”

“She apologised for whatever she did and said she didn’t mean it.”   
“So that’s not like she didn’t remember, is it?”

“Well she said something that night, that stuck with me. And I knew she meant it.”

“What was it?”

Strike shook his head and took another sip from his beer. Shanker let the topic go and they finished their beers in silence. It was late when Strike finally got home. Gosh he was more drunk than he had expected and only now realised it, when he made his way upstairs. Bloody hell, he thought. When he had made it upstairs, he had a glass of water before he headed to the bathroom and then stripped and slipped under the covers. Yet he couldn’t sleep and lay awake. Bloody hell... His phone beeped and he picked it up. It was shortly past 3am and he had a text from Robin. 

_ Hope you’re home already and not still on the road. I’m still sorry for what happened. I hope you’re not mad at me. Rx _

He quickly texted her back.

_ I’m not mad at you. S. _

A few minutes after his answer, his phone rang and he picked up.

“Hi”, he heard Robin’s soft voice at the end of the line.

“Hi.”

“I hope I didn’t wake you?”

“No. It’s fine. I couldn’t sleep anyway.”

“You’re truly not mad?”

“No, I’m not.”

“Then why did you not look at me once on Friday? Why did you not talk to me?”

“I told you, I was busy.”

“Don’t lie to me  Cormoran .” He stayed silent. “Please, will you tell me what I did wrong? I can’t remember.”

“I know you can’t.”

“Then why not tell me? Was it that bad? Will it be so horrible if you tell me?”

“I’m not sure”, Strike hesitated and closed his eyes for a while. 

“With what?”, she softly breathed into the phone. 

“How it’ll affect us.”

Robin knew that he must have had a few drinks, or otherwise he wouldn’t tell her this. She stayed silent and listened to what he had to say. She knew that he would tell her after all. 

“What happened?”, she asked.

“You were pretty drunk and after a while you threw up in my bathroom. I got you home after a while and helped you undress and change.”

“That’s why I wore barely anything in the morning”, she mumbled and he laughed. “And then you left?”   
“I wanted to but...”

“But?”

“You kept me and more or less jumped me. We kissed and you shoved me onto the bed.” He heard her small gasp at the end of the line and smiled at the memory. “Nothing happened. I didn’t let you.” Now Robin laughed. “You were quite angry and tossed me out of your flat.”

“I’m sorry”, she said now quite embarrassed. 

“Don’t be. I’m sure we’ll laugh about it soon enough.”

“ So we’re fine?”, Robin asked. 

“We’re fine.”

“Alright. I’ll let you sleep then.”

“Alright”, he mumbled. “Goodnight Robin.”

“G’night Cormoran.”

She hung up and with the thought about what he had told her, she tried to sleep but it was impossible. 

The next day she carefully chose an outfit. Tight jeans, a black blouse ,  her hair a bit up and headed to the office, quite excited to see him. If they had been this far, even though she had been drunk, she was sure that talking to him about her feelings sober wouldn’t be a problem anymore. She got her usual morning coffee and headed upstairs where he found him in his office.

“Good morning”, she said and put the coffee on his desk before she sat in the chair opposite of his desk.

“Morning”, he said carefully and scrutinized her. “You look tired.”

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“Yeah...”, he took a sip from the  triple espresso. “Me neither.”

“I couldn’t stop thinking about what you told me. I... I wanted to talk to you about this.”

“Robin, I’m not sure this is a good idea.”

“Why not? What are you afraid of?”

Strike let his hand slide through his hair and then stood up, opened the window and lit up a cigarette. He couldn’t forget either. He couldn't forget what Robin had said that night, even though she had been drunk. 

“You are mad at something you didn’t tell me”, she figured and stepped closer.

He tried to light up the cigarette, but it wouldn’t work. Angry he tossed it on his desk. 

“Fucking hell”, he grumbled and let his hand slide through his hair again when she stepped beside him. 

“Cormoran, look at me”, she commanded and put her hand on his cheek. “What is it that I did, or said? Talk to me.”

“You really don’t remember?”

“I don’t, I’m sorry.” She could see the sadness in his eyes and stepped a bit closer, letting her hand  rest on his cheek. “I guess we’re past all this stuff. Tell me  Cormoran .”

“You said you love me”, the Detective mumbled softly and looked away again.

So she had told him after  all. Oh god...

“I... I don’t know what to say. I’m...”

“It’s fine. You didn’t mean it, I know.”

He stepped outside of the office and left her alone. She had heard the anger in his voice and the sadness. Robin stormed after him.

“ Cormoran wait!”

“I’ll head to the pub”, he said and already slipped into his coat.

“Why are you so upset?”, she asked irritated by his behaviour.

“I’m not”, Strike denied and looked at Robin for a moment. 

Without thinking she stepped to him, pulled him closer by his coat and pressed her lips against his. The thoughts in his head stopped and he just felt her lips on his. It was what he had wished for all this time. After a few moments of hesitation, he kissed her back and pulled her closer. When Robin’s lips left his, he looked at her and just held her.

“I did mean it silly. I do love you Cormoran.”

He kissed her again. Shutting every thought or doubt off.

“I love you too Robin ”, he then mumbled and he was happy that things had turned out as they did.


End file.
